My husband flew to his hometown on Saturday morning to deal with matters related to our retirement home. He will return at the end of February, leaving me at home feeling lonely, worried, and sad for various reasons. Maybe it's just hormones.
I've been contemplating early retirement and dedicating my days to helping my husband with his business, taking it to the next level. I discussed this with my husband, and he asked me to wait for his return from his trip to discuss and plan further. Lately, I've been a bit dramatic...
As much as I love my career, it's been taking a toll on my health, and I've realized I have symptoms related to anxiety disorder. I worry excessively, feel nervous, and experience unnecessary panic attacks every day, making it challenging to sleep at night and leaving me feeling tired every day. It doesn't seem worth it at all. What's worse, sometimes I feel like people dislike me and think I'm foolish, which makes me feel worthless and useless.
There are times when I contemplate walking away from it all, just quitting, and other times when I'm highly motivated and want to prove that I can excel. It's all quite confusing, and things become scarier when my husband is not around because I have no one to turn to, no one to share my emotional burden with. It's only day 2, and I already miss him so much. Talking on the phone doesn't help because all I want is his physical presence around me. :(
I was looking for my laptop charger just now and couldn't find it. I suspected my husband had stored it somewhere, and it made me extremely frustrated because I couldn't locate the charger. I left him some rude WhatsApp messages out of disappointment. He also didn't call to check on me the entire day, which added to my frustration.
I was also trying to back up all the photos from my travels on Capture because the app will be discontinued in Malaysia, and the slow progress stressed me out!
Today has been a really tough and sad day for me. :(
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